I'd like to start by expressing my eternal love and gratitude to Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and Guru Dev for carrying the knowledge of Transcendental Meditation (TM) to the world. Their commitment to developing their own level of consciousness and to teaching others how to also access transcendent realms is a phenomenal service that has changed the life of myself and so many others. Let me also state that all descriptions and sentiments which follow are my own personal experience. Everyone's journey through TM and any meditation are unique and not meant to bring about any expectation or road map for others. Each is to enjoy their own journey of unfolding.
When I moved to Fairfield, Iowa at the end of 2007, I took the Yogic Flying course, as a part of the TM Sidhis program. This made me one of the advanced practitioners of TM, giving me new techniques and teaching my nervous system to sustain longer periods of deep meditation. For about 2 weeks, I was separate from the world, except for a small group of ladies also on the course. During this time, I experienced the most classic telling of a kundalini opening. I felt energy at the base of my spine open and rise up my spine in a very visceral and extremely blissful way. It quickly began to feel like a whole new world was opening within myself. I felt different. Directly after the Flying Block, I joined the Invincible America course. More detail on this course will come in a future blog, but for now it suffices to say that I meditated 7 hours a day, 7 days a week with hundreds of other people doing the same. Meditating with so many others created a powerful group coherence which not only impacted my nervous system more intensely, but also spread peaceful energy into the collective consciousness.
The first few months on this program were a little C.R.A.Z.Y. My physical and subtle bodies were going through so many changes that I became very unsure of what my "normal" was anymore. It felt like God, Herself, was coming through my physical body and clearing out all the blocks and stagnant energy in my meridians and channels. It involved a lot of shaking and movement, and I felt grateful that no one outside the community could see me because they might think I was possessed! There's a lot to be said for sacred privacy in advanced meditation circles so that everyone present has enough understanding and support for what is happening.
This phase, however, did calm. The wild shakti and kundalini energy came through my physical body like a fierce sorceress, intent on clearing any obstacle in her path. In her wake, she left much, much more stillness and peace. It was as if a fire burned everything up so that my nervous system and physiology could expand to its infinite nature.
Understandably, I was asked often by family and friends what it was like to meditate so much. I shared then what I still feel. As life brings everything, so does meditation. I had days where I felt bored and dull. I had sleepy days. I sometimes would bring snacks and try to escape for a bit to eat cereal at the market. I had plenty of days where the inferno of my soul felt utterly unbearable to sit through. The demons, my demons, that came to greet me still make me sigh and rub my forehead in exasperation. At times, I wanted to be ANYWHERE other than right where I was.
Yet, I didn't leave because I couldn't. My soul locked me to that Invincible America course like a child desperate for life. Amazingly, it led me through states of ecstasy that I simply cannot describe in words. Happiness from worldly things, money, or sex almost became a novelty because the infinite bliss of my very nature eclipsed anything I had ever imagined. I would often come out of meditation, laughing and looking at my body as if being human was the strangest and most hilarious thing ever. I would smile and giggle and touch my arm to see if it was real. I'd wander around touching trees and plants in absolute awe. The sheer existence of the physical world became a miracle of which I was a part, and I felt great about it. I was happy and blissful for no reason at all, other than feeling I'd discovered that the nature of existence IS bliss.
I wrote a short essay to summarize my first year on the Invincible America course. I'm sharing that as my second blog, so that you can better experience the transformation that occurred for me during that time.