I was born with a highly sensitive physiology and empathic nature. At a young age, I was drawn to spirituality and personal growth. I attended Christian churches during childhood, loving the worship and group prayer. When ecstatic experiences arose, I realized more existed in this world than the physical plane and conventional culture.
I learned Transcendental Meditation at the age of 16 and began a journey of rediscovering the Divine within myself. My first spiritual awakening occurred when I was 21, and I broke open in a single moment. An all encompassing and often excruciating longing emerged from my soul to know God. I explored many spiritual traditions and ultimately moved to a meditation community in Iowa in 2007. I spent a year and a half meditating 7 hours a day, 7 days a week (read more in my blogs Gift of Meditation and Transformation). For me, learning how to find peace and stillness within myself was everything. However, I realized it was actually the beginning of everything.
Emotional Growth and Heart Opening
While I was growing spiritually and touching higher states of consciousness, my daily life still brought me a lot of challenges. A career in the environmental field which I had been working toward since adolescence collapsed in health challenges and a loss of purpose. I grappled with a painful eating disorder, digestive problems, and body image issues. My romantic relationships were unstable and often heartbreaking.
In summary, I was an emotional mess much of the time. I was working so hard to fix myself, overcome my issues, and embody spiritual principles. My intent at that point was to rise above the typical human experience and find a way to float through the world blissfully uninvolved.
I finally realized I needed to immerse myself in heart-based practices instead of bringing perfectionism and self-criticism to my healing and meditation. I began studying self-love and learned to be more compassionate with myself. I stopped judging my ever-changing emotions, no longer telling myself that intense emotions meant I was doing something wrong. I came to understand that emotions are energies that move through the body, and I opened my heart to them. Living from my heart was a spiritual awakening in and of itself. As I learned to love and forgive myself, I could also bestow more unconditional love and acceptance upon others. I energetically returned to my body because it was finally not so terrifying to be there. I learned that an eternal presence and inner peace resided in my body that I could rely upon regardless of changing external circumstances.
As my nervous system evolved through meditative practices and my heart journey continued, my intuitive and channeling abilities flowered. Read more about my intuitive opening here→
At this point, I had a beautiful spiritual practice, divine knowledge and experience, and an opened heart which continues to expand. However, I had not yet created a life that matched the beautiful growth I had attained within. I had not manifested the people, jobs, romantic partners, or home that resonated with me. I didn’t know what it meant to bring forth my unique energy into the world in a powerful and grounded way. How should I bring all these magnificent energies into the real world? How could I be my true self in a confident and loving way?
I realized that I needed to empower myself to express my spiritual connectivity and compassion in the real world. I learned how to speak my truth and own my talents in a community where I felt seen and supported. I took action to create a home and career that reflect the beauty of my soul. I honored my heart and intuition to more intentionally create an intimate relationship where I felt both met and loved.
Life is here to be celebrated! However, without personal development in spirituality, heart opening, and empowerment, we live as partial beings; we feel unfulfilled, unloved, and inauthentic. By growing in these areas, we can develop the ability to bring the fullness of our soul energy into our physical body and into the physical world. Then, we feel activated, joyful, peaceful, and fulfilled from within. We can be our biggest selves, with our biggest hearts, and live out our divine nature and purpose in the world.